Why is trusting in the guy upstairs so hard when life is so good?

First of all, can I just say how annoying Facebook is? Why do they have to always change things...

Anyways.

I'm kind of having a month long anxiety attack. And by kind of, I mean I am.

I'm supposed to graduate in December. That's a lot of pressure when the final semester turned out to be 19 credits worth of terribleness. Hooray for graduation (or the possibility of) and not hooray for what comes after that.

Growing up, I thought I'd be the girl that got married at age 20, graduated college, had a few kids, then turned 30 with nothing but raising kids left to do. Yes, I was a naive teenager. Looking back, it seems a lot more fun than what life has turned out to be.  I'm not saying I have a bad life, because I know I'm so lucky with everything I have. I'm just saying.... REALLY?!

I'M READY TO MOVE ON!

Yeah. I said it.

Come January, I will be that girl that is staying in Provo (better yet, Orem) to wait and get married. I never thought I'd be that girl, or never ever wanted to be that girl. But, guess who I get to be? That girl.

Why am I having such a hard time trusting that things will work out? I mean, am I really going to just be the friend that is always designing everyones wedding announcements (leaving of course the most bomb of them all design in my head, for the wedding)?

Basically, the other night I realized that my next birthday I will be 25, and I've started to panic. Mostly because all my life plans have always included... you know... the husband and kids stuff.

Why is trusting in the guy upstairs so hard when life is so good?


Yes, I know I'm just 24 (I'm not 25 yet...), but really? Lets get this party started!

And, yep. I just blogged about how I think I should get married and can't. 
I'm cool.

19 credits

I hate homework. 

yep, I said hate.

All 19 credits worth.

The end.

If I Had A Million Dollars

I dream of planning an event that isn't put on by a non-profit organization.  Because, finding sponsors in Utah is like finding a tall single man that LDS in Utah to fall in love with you.  (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) It's just almost impossible.

It's hard work to feed 750 people on a LOW budget.  And I'm glad it's most likely the last one I have to ever do.

That's all.
With that said, you should totally come to this.  It will be fun if... people, you know... show up!

Let Freedom Ring

Remember that one time I sat on the FIELD on the 2ND ROW at the STADIUM OF FIRE with BRAD PAISLEY?

Okay now, let me back up...

Freedom Festival.  Have you heard of it?  It's a big celebration of America.  Yes, I celebrate America (so many people this year have asked me if I do... I live here. duh.)  This is going to be a hard year to beat for my celebrating of America.  And, it's all thanks to two great guys!

A week ago we kicked the week off with a Patriotic Service that was oh so emotional.  Tears were shed.  During the service, they presented a mother with a flag in honor of her son who died in the war.  It was really one of the coolest things I have ever seen.  The rest of the service was great too.  Even Miss America was there.  It was an excellent production of why we celebrate America.




The next event I attended was a Gala!  A GALA!  Who even goes to those?  I went with my friend Emory.  He wore a tux, I wore my version of Kate Hudson's yellow dress in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.  It couldn't be exact because, well, her entire backside is exposed along with a lot of her front side, but it had a small train!  Chad took Tania, a friend from the ward so we were able to hang out while the guys were off doing business with the famous folk of Utah.  Might I add, BRUCE from CHANNEL 5 NEWS was there!  We. Were. Starstruck.  Other greats such as Stephen R. Covey, General Authorities, Alan Osmond and so on were also in attendance.  A professional singer, Dallyn Vail Bayles, provided the entertainment which was just amazing.  His performance of Bring Him Home was the best I had EVER heard in my life.  We were all impressed.  The menu had steak and salmon on it, and Tania and I were stressing out about that decision.  Not to worry though, we were all served BOTH! The dessert was interesting.  It was a pear dish that came in a purse.  A food purse though.  Weird.  It was a top night.

Saturday night, Mer and I were getting ready for Stadium of Fire when Emory called.  Odd, since it was such a busy night for them with Stadium of Fire.  Turns out he was just calling to offer us 6 2nd row seats!  SIX 2ND ROW SEATS! Okay.  Are you understanding more in full circle the awesomeness of my friends?  A gala, now this?  Awesome. I told Mer, and her response was "I think we need to hug".  It was then followed by the next 3 hours before the show, full of screams, jumping up and down, more screams etc. You get the picture. The night was bound to be magical. And, it was!  We were probably 98% excited for Brad, and 2% excited for David.  The show was seriously SO awesome!  Brad came down off the stage a few times, and I could have touched him if I wanted to he was so close to me.  But, I kept my cool and let him be.  Also, he's short which was sort of a disappointment.  It's okay, Brad... it never would've worked out between us anyways.  I will forever need to sit 2nd row at Stadium of Fire.  Even if I have to pay the $130. It's that great down there.

The show was magical.  It's the only word that describes such an experience. Really.

I love America.

Hush little baby...

I have this big giant huge fear.  It's the fear that I will be able carry around my husband, pat him on the head, lean on his shoulder, you know... I might as well tuck him in at night and sign him nursery rhymes.

I had a dream last night that this was my destiny.  

I'm praying hard that it turns out a little more.... beautifully!

In a World I Would Love to See

"Though difficult and painful, death is an essential part of our mortal experience. We began our sojourn here by leaving our premortal existence and coming to this earth." - Thomas S. Monson

Essential part of our mortal experience.


"Through tears and trials, through fears and sorrows, through the heartache and loneliness of losing loved ones, there is assurance that life is everlasting. Our Lord and Savior is the living witness that such is so." - Thomas S. Monson

Life is everlasting.

On a beautiful day that I dream about

In a world I would love to see,

Is a beautiful place where the sun comes out

And it shines in the sky for me.

On this beautiful winter’s morning,

If my wish could come true somehow,

Then the beautiful day that I dream about

Would be here and now. 

“The Beautiful Day,” from the movie Scrooge

For those of you that know me and who/what this post is referring to, go back and re-read the lyrics.  It is the most beautiful thing.  He will be able to see.

I don't know how to prepare for this, or if preparation is even possible.  All I know is that it is hard.  

I have never known more that the Gospel is true more than I do now with this forthcoming experience.  It just makes sense.  And, it's all true.

The End Is In Sight

I applied for GRADUATION.  Yes, I said graduation.  You know, after you've spent millions at a university where they teach you things for years and years so you can walk around in a black gown, throw a square cap up in the air and they give you a piece of paper saying you are AWESOME.  Yeah, I applied for that this week.  Come December 2011, I will be ALL DONE with school.

 Yeyeah!

Once I graduate, I will have taken me 4 years (in school) to do this (6 including time off for being sick stuff).  So, I guess that's okay.  It would've been an easier road minus that 2 year sick break.  But whatever.  I'M ALMOST DONE!  I'm so excited I'm already job hunting.

I know, I think it sounds fake and unreal too.  I really wont believe it until I actually throw that square cap up in the air.  

Do they really do that in real life, or is that just in Legally Blond?  

Can I also say that Summer School is AWESOME?  Seriously.  Everyone told me I would hate it, BUT I wish I would have done it every summer now.  Maybe that's just my graduation motivation speaking... I don't know.