Sunday, November 20, 2011

Through the Bittersweet Tears

November 19, 2011 will always be a special day for my family and I.  Full of sad, yet happy memories. It's strange how perfectly those two emotions went together today.

The last two years, I've thought a lot about why good people go through such hard things. I don't know that we will ever know why exactly, until we are on the other side. And that's okay. But the not knowing lead me to ponder into believing more and more of the possibility that we chose our trials before we came down. Or we knew what they would be and accepted. I don't know if it's true or not, but knowing our little Devin, I know that he came down to this earth with a mission. And that mission, he accomplished with honor. I know that his miracles were made known to us, to help us all now. Now that he is back home. We can remember what an impact such a sweet little boy had on so many people in such a short yet full life. And we can know that he accomplished what his Heavenly Father sent him here to do.

Today I spent the day with Devin and his family and was there when he took his last breath. It was an experience I will never forget and one that I am so grateful to have been a part of. The spirit that was with us tonight was one that I have never felt before. It brought great peace to all of us there.  As we cried together, we knew that Devin was no longer in pain. He can walk and run. He can see. He is happy and is probably conversing with Abinadi, whom he was hoping to get in contact with once he was in Heaven.

Tonight as we sat with Devin in his final hours, we were sad, yet very happy. It's hard to see such a beautiful boy go, but knowing where he is and what he can now do makes us happy and leaves us at peace. Happiness and sadness usually don't join each other, but tonight as they did it was perfect. It was a beautiful heartbreak.


  1. Oh, Sarah. I'm sorry for your loss; I know Devin was so special to you! But your strength and faith is impressive and I know your family and everyone who came in contact with him are strengthened and blessed because of those years you had with him! I'm glad he was able to pass in such a peaceful way surrounded by those he loved and that loved him.

  2. That is so special that you could be there. I love our family so much, and it is hard to be so far away.

  3. I'm so sorry to hear of your news, Sarah. My heart aches for you and your family. I am grateful for the gospel that helps us through these situations, but life will never be the same and our arms will feel empty until we're with those we love again. You and Devin's family are in our prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to I am always here. Love you, Sarah!

  4. Sarah, thank you for letting me know Devin just a little bit through you. Remember the time he came to the Omni to visit you and told us all stories for the longest time out by the hot tub? HAHAHA. He loves you so much, and I know how much you love him. It was always so sweet to me to see your bond. Thank you for letting me in on the joy he brought to your life, even though it was through such pain and heartbreak. Sure love you, Sarah, and your wonderful family.

  5. Sarah, what a beautiful post. I never met Devin, but loved knowing him through you. What a character! And what an amazing teacher of life and how to live it he was to those around him. Thinking of you and your family...